I’ve practiced yoga in front of this window each morning for almost an entire year, through 3 seasons. So grateful!
Fall:
Winter:
Spring:
I’m moving to a new apartment in 2 weeks, so my practice landscape is going to change.
I’m sure going to miss this view!
What do you see when you practice yoga?
Choose love,
Grace
Inspired this week by teacher Elsie Escobar on her Yoga Podcast Episode 46:
“Just allow yourself to experience your body, your shape, this down dog right now, as something uniquely yours. So that you feel the shifting, your hamstrings, the back of your neck, your hands into the Earth, as a unique expression of yourself.”
It struck me that during our yoga practice, we often want to copy our teacher or look like the other students in class, but what should be happening is that we find the specialness in the posture for ourselves. That is where the most benefit comes from.
My body is MY body, my temple. Nobody else has a body like mine, or a mind and emotions like mine. In practicing yoga I merge the body and mind together. Instead of focusing on what is outside myself, I am going to try to focus on the inside.
I can ask myself what is happening in MY body (in my muscles, bones, heart, etc), and move and breathe from that place.
The only body you need to worry about is your own!
Choose love,
Grace
I’ve been struggling with letting go of control lately (ha ha- that sounds really silly). I have a lot of big changes coming up in the next few weeks. My beau and I are going on a big road trip to participate in a dear friend’s wedding and right when we get back, we are moving in to a new apartment together. New beginnings bring excitement, but they also can rack up my nerves and my gremlins spring up to tease me with fear.
I am living in the future, rather than the present moment. I am worrying and fretting. Lately, the littlest annoyance sends me into a total grown-up tantrum. I have mastered the art of whining and freaking out, all at the same time. Anything can set me over the edge. I feel awful about my behavior, and I know I need to get a serious grip! I think I need to begin upping my meditation sessions. I also want to work on pausing before I respond. A simple pause can change the entire course of a conversation, and keep emotions in check.
The theme of my home practice this morning was equanimity- how fitting! TeriLeigh, the teacher of the podcast, read this perfect quote at the end of the class:
“Equanimity is the art of meeting life as it meets you- calmly, without drama or fuss. This is the way out of frustration and into the light. Living in the light there is a brightness and a creativity very much like that of a child. The light leads us back to our naturalness. But you don’t want to get to the light by fighting or wrestling for control. An inner revolution is not about taking control. Control has no real healthy place in our lives. It only robs us of our serenity. We think we change things by taking charge, by grabbing the bull by the horns, but if you think about it, grabbing a bull by the horns would be a crazy thing to do. We change by finding equanimity and learning to relax right in the middle of conflict-filled moments. Equanimity releases us from unrealistic expectations about what life should be and allows us to stay centered amid the inevitable highs and lows.” -Baron Baptiste
Relax and let go in the midst of conflict. Ok. I will try!
Choose love,
Grace
I stumbled upon an old interview on Speaking of Faith with Matthew Sanford. When he was 13 he was in a car accident that broke his back and paralyzed his lower body. He eventually discovered the path of yoga, and now- even more cool- he teaches yoga! I decided to read his book Waking: A Memoir of Trauma and Transcendence, and I am resonating with so many of his perspectives and reflections on what happens after a traumatic event.
Matthew says: “The accident [traumatic event] did not happen to one person, not even to one family. It happened to a group, to a circle of connection, to a community. We move forward into uncharted territory together.”
We are all living this human experience, even though we feel and express things differently. A tragedy brings us closer together (BOSTON STRONG), but also shows how we all grieve differently.
Some feel guilt: why did I live and others died?
Some feel anger: Why did this happen? How could anyone commit such a horrific crime?
Some feel sadness: Why can’t I stop crying?
Some live in the “What if…” mode and their imaginations go crazy with alternate scenarios.
And amidst all these questions, we often reflect on our place in this world- how we fit into it and what kind of mark we want to leave behind.
Matthew says: “Death and trauma also bring questions…My interest is one of identity. What is identity in the face of radical disruption? Who was I? Who am I? Who will I be? To answer such questions, we need healing stories. Healing trauma requires opening one’s life to interpretation, creating a personal mythology to guide perception, and forging a set of healing stories that create or maintain a sense of identity.”
Matthew continues: “The concept of healing stories- I think it applies all over the place. We’re constantly losing our trust in the world. Things happen, loss of childhood innocence, death of a loved one, where suddenly the world changes its shape, and you have to confront how are you gonna connect back to the world?”
The world definitely changed its shape to me when I witnessed the bombings on Marathon Monday, and I’ve been working on healing stories to mend my broken heart each day since.
Here is one of my recent healing stories:
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain
When you are ready, bring your attention to forgiveness.
Choose love,
Grace
Since Marathon Monday I have been thinking a lot about safety. When do I feel safe, and what is it that makes me feel safe?
When you were a child, your parents hopefully taught you general safety lessons: keep the doors to your house locked, buckle your seatbelt when riding in a car, be careful near the stove because it gets very hot, don’t talk to strangers, etc.
Yet doing all these things does not guarantee your safety. Anything can happen, right?
But we can’t live in fear of what MIGHT happen! Life is messy and unpredictable. It is a conscious choice to remain paralyzed by fear…or to live in the present moment.
It was scary to go back to my job at Boylston Street when the store re-opened after the marathon. The last time I had been there, my “safe” world had been shaken, and I had been terrified. But I knew that I had to go back to the area and face my fears, so I could move on. The police presence in the area that first day back was reassuring and supportive. And I took it one step at a time. It’s gotten more comfortable as each day passes.
Time does help with healing, little by little.
Our definition of what makes us feel safe changes and shifts over time. I encourage you to reflect on who and what makes you feel safe and express gratitude for those people and things in your life that add to your feelings of safety.
My favorite safe space is in the arms of my beau. 
Choose love,
Grace